That's So Primal

The 5-Minute “Cheat Code” for Your Christmas Dinner

plate with chimichurri on top of trip with a side of roasted squash

Let’s be real for a second: The traditional Christmas plate can get a little… beige.

Between the mashed potatoes, the stuffing, and the gravy, your palate is usually screaming for something bright, acidic, and alive to cut through all that heaviness. That is exactly where this Primal Christmas Chimichurri comes in.

If you are roasting a Beef Tri-Tip or a juicy Whole Roasted Chicken for the holidays, you need this sauce. But honestly? It works on everything.

I actually tested this out on some standard, boring holiday turkey the other day, and it completely saved the meal. It turned dry, bland protein into something I actually wanted to eat.

Why This Recipe Rocks

Most store-bought sauces are filled with cheap canola oil and preservatives. This recipe? It’s pure, raw plant power, and we are not wasting time chopping herbs by hand today.

The Herbs: We are using a massive amount of cilantro, parsley, and fresh oregano. These aren’t just for flavor; they are packed with antioxidants. There is even research suggesting cilantro helps with heavy metal detoxification, which is a nice bonus after a season of indulgence.
The Fat: We’re using Extra-Virgin Olive Oil. We know that healthy fats are essential for nutrient absorption, meaning this sauce actually helps you get more nutrition out of your greens than if you ate them plain.
The Speed: We are using the blender. It’s the holidays, you have presents to wrap. We want high flavor with zero effort.

Primal Holiday Chimichurri (Blender Version)

Prep time: 5 minutes
Yields: About 1.5 cups

Ingredients

1/2 cup Red wine vinegar
1 tsp Kosher salt (plus more to taste)
3–4 Garlic cloves, peeled (no need to slice)
1 Small shallot, peeled and quartered
2 cups Fresh cilantro (stems and all!)
1 cup Fresh flat-leaf parsley
1/3 cup Fresh oregano leaves
3/4 cup Extra-virgin olive oil

Instructions

Load the Blender: Toss the garlic, shallot, red wine vinegar, and salt into your food processor or high-powered blender. Pulse it a few times just to break down the garlic and shallot.
Add the Greens: Throw in the cilantro, parsley, and oregano.
Pulse (Don’t Purée): Pour in the olive oil. Hit the pulse button a few times.
- Note: You want to stop before it turns into a green smoothie. You want it to still have some texture and visible flecks of herbs.
Serve: Taste it. Does it need more salt? Add a pinch. Pour it into a bowl and serve immediately over your steak, chicken, or that turkey that needs a little help.

Storage: Leftovers keep in the fridge for a few days. The oil might solidify, so just let it sit on the counter for 10 minutes before eating.

No Plastic Junk: 10 Primal Tools To Equip Your Tribe

I’ll keep this brief because I already told you what I think about modern consumerism.

Most holiday shopping is a disease. It’s a frantic attempt to buy affection with cheap plastic that ends up in a landfill by February. That is weakness. That is waste.

But you still want to give something. You want to offer tribute.

The answer isn’t to stop giving; it’s to stop giving trash.

If you are going to spend your hard-earned resources, spend them on tools. Give your tribe items that force them to grow. Give them gear that improves their sleep, strengthens their body, or reconnects them to the earth.

Don’t buy them “gifts.” Buy them a better existence.

Here are 10 pieces of essential gear that actually align with the Primal philosophy.

1. THE ANCESTRAL ANCHOR: A Cast Iron Skillet

Teflon is poison. If you are letting your family cook on chemical-laden non-stick pans that flake into their eggs, you are failing them.

A heavy, pre-seasoned cast iron skillet is the ultimate kitchen weapon. It avoids the PFAS “forever chemicals” found in non-stick cookware that have been linked to liver damage and immune system disruption. Plus, it adds small amounts of dietary iron to your food. This isn’t a pan; it’s an heirloom. Amazon Link

2. THE SWISS ARMY KNIFE OF GYMS: A Single Kettlebell

Most home exercise equipment is designed to become a clothes hanger. A kettlebell is designed to forge iron-clad durability.

It takes up zero space and delivers massive results. A study by the American Council on Exercise found that kettlebell snatch workouts burn calories at an insane rate—equivalent to running a 6-minute mile pace. Give a 35lb (16kg) bell to a man or an 18lb (8kg) bell to a woman, and you have given them an entire gym that lasts forever. Amazon Link

3. THE SLEEP DEFENDER: Blue Light Blocking Glasses

Modern lighting destroys sleep. We are blasted with artificial blue light from screens and LEDs long after the sun goes down.

Harvard researchers have confirmed that blue light suppresses melatonin twice as long as other light wavelengths. Help your tribe reclaim the night. These aren’t the cheap novelty ones; get the ones that actually block the spectrum. It’s the gift of deep, restorative hibernation. Amazon Link

4. THE GROUND CONNECTION: Minimalist Footwear (or Toe Spacers)

We’ve spent decades cramming our feet into “coffins” (narrow shoes) that deform our toes and weaken our arches.

Give the gift of foot freedom. Research published in Nature shows that wearing minimalist shoes increases foot muscle strength by nearly 60%. Toe spacers help realign the toes to their natural splay, improving balance and reducing injury. Amazon Link

5. THE CAVE SIMULATOR: Blackout Curtains

You cannot sleep like a predator if you are sleeping in a light-polluted city. Even small amounts of light can disrupt circadian regulation.

High-quality, thermal-insulated blackout curtains turn a bedroom into a cave. Studies have consistently shown a link between light exposure at night and increased risk of obesity and diabetes. This is the single highest ROI upgrade you can give for someone’s health. Amazon Link

6. THE ELEMENTAL SHIELD: Merino Wool Base Layer

Cotton kills when it gets wet. Synthetics smell like a locker room. Merino wool is nature’s perfect fabric—it regulates temperature and wicks moisture naturally.

Because of its unique fiber structure, wool absorbs and locks away odors unlike synthetic fabrics which become breeding grounds for bacteria. Get them a high-quality base layer so they have no excuse not to get outside when the weather turns cold. Amazon Link

7. THE HYDRATION TANK: A Stainless Steel Water Bottle (No Plastic)

Microplastics are everywhere. Drinking out of cheap plastic bottles disrupts your endocrine system.

Get them a 40oz or 64oz stainless steel vessel. It removes the risk of BPA and phthalates leaching into your water, which are known endocrine disruptors. It keeps water cold, it’s indestructible, and it purifies their daily hydration routine. Amazon Link

8. THE PAPER BRAIN: A High-Quality Analog Journal

In a digital world, writing by hand is an act of rebellion. It slows the mind and forces clarity.

Don’t buy a cheap spiral notebook. Buy a hardcover, lay-flat journal with quality paper. Psychological research indicates that handwriting engages the brain in learning and memory far better than typing on a keyboard. Give them a place to strategize their life away from the glowing screen. Amazon Link

9. THE RECOVERY TOOL: A Foam Roller or Lacrosse Ball

If they train hard, they hurt. Massage therapists are expensive; a lacrosse ball is $5.

This is the tool for self-maintenance. While the mechanism is debated, studies suggest foam rolling improves range of motion and reduces muscle soreness (DOMS) after hard sessions. It hurts, but it works. Amazon Link

10. THE ATMOSPHERE: Beeswax Candles

Standard paraffin candles release toxic soot (essentially diesel exhaust) into the home.

Beeswax is clean. A study from South Carolina State University found that paraffin candles release unwanted chemicals like alkans and alkenes, while vegetable and beeswax candles do not. It brings the primal element of fire into the living room without the pollution. Amazon Link

THE BOTTOM LINE

Don’t just buy things to check a box.

Look at the person you are buying for. Ask yourself: “Will this make them stronger, healthier, or more capable?”

If the answer is yes, buy it. If the answer is no, save your money.

Taco Bowls

Overhead view of a beef taco bowl with basmati rice, shredded lettuce, cheese, and avocado

This isn’t your average, soggy taco salad

We are building a bowl that eats like a meal. The key here isn’t just tossing ingredients together; it’s about the quality of the base and the layering of flavors. We use Basmati rice because, when treated right, it stays fluffy and distinct rather than turning into a clumpy mess.

The flavor engine is the That’s So Primal Taco Seasoning. It transforms standard ground beef into a savory, rich protein layer that anchors the whole dish. Finished with fresh lime and a specific assembly order to maximize texture, this is the weeknight dinner you’ll actually look forward to.

Let’s build it.

The Breakdown

Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Servings: 4 bowls

Ingredients

The Base

Rice: 2 cups cooked basmati rice (rinsed thoroughly before cooking)
Protein: 1 lb ground beef
Flavor: That’s So Primal Taco Seasoning (2 tbsp per 1 lb of meat)

The Fresh Toppings

Lettuce: 2 cups Romaine hearts, shredded
Cheese: 1 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
Olives: 1½ cup black olives, sliced
Avocado: 2 ripe avocados, sliced

The Garnish

Fresh cilantro and lime wedges
Chipotle Tabasco
Sour cream

Instructions

1. Prepare the Rice Rinsing is non-negotiable here. Rinse 1 cup of uncooked basmati rice under cold water until the water runs clear—this removes the excess starch that causes stickiness. Combine it with water (check your package, but usually 1.5 to 2 cups) in a pot. Bring it to a boil, cover, reduce the heat to low, and simmer for 12–15 minutes. Pro Tip: Remove it from the heat and let it sit covered for 10 minutes before fluffing with a fork.

2. Cook the Beef Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and add your ground beef. Break it up with a wooden spoon as it cooks so you get those nice crumbles. Cook for 6–8 minutes until it’s fully browned and no pink remains. Drain the grease if you need to, then lower the heat to medium. Sprinkle the That’s So Primal Taco Seasoning over the beef (2 tablespoons per pound) and stir to coat.

3. Assemble the Bowls The order matters.

Base: Scoop a generous portion of fluffy rice into the bottom.
Protein: Top the rice with the hot seasoned beef.
Melt: Sprinkle the shredded Monterey Jack cheese directly over the hot beef so it gets slightly melty.
Crunch & Cool: Add your shredded romaine to one side, then arrange the sliced avocado and olives on top.

4. Serve Serve immediately while the beef is hot and the avocado is cool. Right before you dig in, squeeze a fresh lime wedge over the top for that essential “pop” of acidity.

DIY Seasoning

If you don’t have the That’s So Primal Taco Seasoning on hand, mix this up in a jar. This ratio gives you a bold, primal flavor profile without the anti-caking agents.

4 tbsp Chili Powder
3 tbsp Cumin
2 tbsp Salt
2 tbsp Black Pepper
1 tbsp Paprika
1 tbsp Onion Powder
1 tbsp Garlic Powder
1 tbsp Dried Oregano

Usage: Use 2 tablespoons of this mix per 1 pound of meat.

Stop Performing, Start Living

Let’s be real. The modern holiday season is a trap.

It’s designed to turn you into a frantic, consumption-obsessed zombie. You’re running on cortisol, caffeine, and cheap sugar, frantically buying plastic garbage nobody needs, all while documenting the “magic” on Instagram for dopamine hits from strangers.

Meanwhile, the actual people right in front of you—your tribe, your bloodline—are getting the leftover scraps of your attention.

That is weak. That is the opposite of how we were made to operate.

Our ancestors didn’t have “Christmas stress.” They had winter. They had survival. And when they gathered to feast during the darkest days of the year, it meant something. It was a visceral celebration of life, community, and shared strength.

They weren’t checking emails between bites of mammoth. They were present because their survival depended on it.

Your survival might not depend on it anymore, but your soul does. Your legacy does. If you want to lead your tribe, you need to actually be there.

Forget the Hallmark nonsense. Here are 10 ways to be present this Christmas, cut the noise, and be fiercely, primally present this Christmas.

1. SEVER THE DIGITAL UMBILICAL CORD

You know this one is coming. The smartphone is the single greatest enemy of presence ever invented. It isn’t just a distraction; it is a dopamine slot machine designed to hijack your nervous system and spike your cortisol.

When you are with your tribe, the phone doesn’t belong on the table face down. It belongs in another room, preferably locked in a drawer. You cannot connect deeply when you are constantly tethered to the shallow digital noise of the outside world. Be where your feet are.

2. ENGAGE IN TRIBAL PLAY

Humans are meant to move. We learn and bond through physicality. Yet, Christmas turns most people into sedentary blobs on a couch watching other people live violently on TV.

Get up. Get on the floor with the kids. Wrestle. Rough-and-tumble play reduces aggression and builds social intelligence. It forces you out of your head and into your body. Have a snowball fight until your lungs burn. Build something with your hands. It’s grounding. It’s real.

3. GATHER ‘ROUND THE FLAME

There is nothing more ancestral than gathering around fire. For millennia, this was the center of human connection—the place for storytelling, warmth, and safety.

Turn off the television. Light the fireplace. If you don’t have one, get outside around a fire pit. Research from the University of Alabama shows that staring at a fire actually lowers blood pressure and induces a natural relaxation response. It calms the nervous system and invites genuine conversation. Stare at the fire, not a screen.

4. FEAST WITH INTENTION

Modern Christmas eating is mindless grazing on processed garbage. Primal feasting is an event. It’s a celebration of abundance.

When you sit down to the holiday meal, treat it with respect. Look the people across from you in the eye. Chew slowly to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. Taste the animal, taste the earth. Acknowledge the effort it took to bring that food to the table. Don’t just refuel; commune.

5. MASTER THE ART OF THE “HUNT” (IN CONVERSATION)

Most people don’t listen; they just wait for their turn to talk. They’re already formulating their clever response while you’re still speaking.

Be different. Hunt for the real meaning in what your family is saying. Listen with the intent to understand deeply, not to reply quickly. Ask dangerous questions that go beyond surface-level small talk. Find out who these people really are right now.

6. INJECT THE ELEMENTS

Central heating makes us soft. We get drowsy and complacent in perfectly climate-controlled boxes.

Wake up your system. Step outside into the biting cold air for ten minutes without your giant puffy coat. Cold exposure triggers a massive release of norepinephrine and dopamine, resetting your focus almost instantly. Feel the shock. Take a walk in the woods or the snow before the chaos of gift-opening begins. Reconnecting with nature forces you to be present because the elements demand your attention.

7. OFFER TRIBUTE, NOT TRANSACTION

Gift-giving has become a mindless exchange of gift cards and Amazon wish-list items. It’s transactional and sterile.

A primal offering has spirit attached to it. It requires sacrifice—of your time, your skill, or your deep thought. Make something. Write something real. Teach a skill. Give an experience that will strengthen them. The value of a gift isn’t on the price tag; it’s in the presence you put into securing it.

8. MURDER MULTI-TASKING

The “hustle culture” lie tells you that doing three things at once makes you productive. Science confirms that chronic multitaskers have lower cognitive control. It just makes you mediocre at three things simultaneously.

This Christmas, do one thing ferociously well. If you are cooking, just cook. If you are talking to your grandfather, just talk to him. Don’t wrap gifts while watching Netflix and talking on speakerphone. Single-tasking is a superpower in a distracted world.

9. OWN THE MORNING OF THE BIG DAY

If you wake up hungover, rushed, and immediately reacting to screaming kids or demanding relatives, you’ve already lost the day.

Set your alarm 45 minutes earlier than everyone else. Own that silence. Meditate, lift something heavy, journal, drink water. Secure your own oxygen mask first. When you enter the arena of family festivities, enter it grounded, calm, and ready to lead, not just react.

10. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ABUNDANCE (VISCERALLY)

Gratitude isn’t some flaky New Age concept; it’s a survival mechanism. It evolved as a way to reinforce social bonds and ensure group survival.

Take a moment amidst the wrapping paper carnage to stop and actually feel it in your gut. Look at the roof over your head. Look at the food. Look at the people who have your back. Don’t just think it; feel the immense power of having enough. That feeling is the ultimate anchor to the present moment.

THE CALL TO ACTION

Presence isn’t a magical state that just happens. It’s a discipline. It’s a fight against the entropy of modern distraction.

This year, stop performing Christmas for an audience that doesn’t care. Start living it for the tribe that does.

Be strong. Be focused. Be Primally Present.

Instant Pot Smoked Pulled Pork

Instant Pot Smoked Pulled Pork: The Primal Savage Way

Hey y’all, I know what you’re thinking. “Smoked pulled pork in an Instant Pot? Isn’t that heresy?” Well, listen up here you primal warriors. Sometimes you gotta get things done, and sometimes you need dinner on the table fast. This recipe combines the smoky goodness of a traditional smoker with the speed and convenience of the Instant Pot.

Tools:

Ingredients:

Pork shoulder (size of your choice, but keep in mind the cook time will vary depending on weight)
That’s So Primal Pork Seasoning (or mix your own below)
1 cup water

Batch of That’s So Primal Pork Seasoning:

6T Brown Sugar or Coconut Sugar
3T Pepper
2T Garlic Powder
2T Paprika
1T Onion Powder
(This seasoning does not include salt, you’ll need to add salt separately to the pork)

Instructions:

Fire up the Smoke Train: Season your pork shoulder liberally with That’s So Primal Pork Seasoning. Get your smoker fired up to 250 degrees Fahrenheit and let that pork get nice and smoky. Aim for an internal temperature of around 165 degrees Fahrenheit.
Partial Primal Patience: Now, here’s where we diverge from the traditional path. Normally, you’d wrap the pork at this point and let it braise low and slow until it falls apart. But we ain’t got time for that! We’re primal savages, not time-wasters!
Instant Pot to the Rescue: Transfer that smoky pork shoulder to your trusty Instant Pot. Add 1 cup of water (gotta create some steam for that pressure cookin’ magic). Here’s the beauty: cook time is 20 minutes per pound of pork. That’s it! No babysitting, no guessing. Just set it and forget it (almost).
Natural Release for the Win: Once the cook time is up, let the pressure release naturally. This lets the flavors continue to develop and keeps that pork nice and juicy.
The Shredding Ritual: Now for the fun part! Pull out that pork and shred it to your desired consistency with some bear claws (or two forks in a pinch). Feel free to add more That’s So Primal Pork Seasoning or your favorite BBQ sauce at this point.
Primal Feast: Primal victory screech! You’ve got yourself some delicious, smoky pulled pork that’s ready to devour on baked potatoes, tacos, or however your primal heart desires.

Primal Notes:

This recipe is all about convenience, but if you have the time, you can definitely smoke the pork for longer for an even deeper smoke flavor.
Leftovers? Primal meal prep win! Store leftover pulled pork in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 4 days or freeze it for longer storage.

So there you have it, folks. Smoked pulled pork, the Primal Savage way. It may not be traditional, but it sure is tasty and efficient. Now get out there and conquer your dinner time struggles!

Mix up your own rub or use That’s So Primal Pork Seasoning

It should look like this with pretty good color, but it for sure isn’t done yet

Load it up in the Instant Pot with 1 cup of water

After it’s done shred with some bear paws and add some more seasoning and salt

Stay Primal